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You know you have a Vietnamese
girlfriend when...
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When you've got friends staying
in Saigon...
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The rest
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Radiation
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Toolz
my playlist right now...
Vietnamese - Nguoi ban than ten buon
Wedding Present - No
Wedding Present - Why Are You Being So Reasonable Now?
Wedding Present - Everyone Thinks He Looks Daft
Wedding Present - What Have I Said Now
today in history...
1483 - Utrecht surrenders to Habsburgs army
1917 - 1st night bombing of London by German fighter planes
1940 - Neth govt in exile of Gerbrandy forms London
1970 - Indonesian president Suharto visits Netherlands
1985 - 20th Space Shuttle Mission (51-I)-Discovery 6-returns to Earth
and birthdays...
1849 - Sarah Orne Jewett, Maine, author (Country of the Pointed Firs)
1897 - Francisco Paolo Mignone, composer
1931 - Rudolf Kelterborn, composer
1945 - George Biondo, rocker (Steppenwolf)
1970 - George Lynch, NBA forward (Vancouver Grizzlies)
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You know you have a Vietnamese girlfriend
when...
You're watching a war film and a hand grenade will go off. She
interjects in a knowledgable tone: "they don't explode like that!".
While planning what you need to cook that special meal she'll ask
"that vinegar I bought before, is it still okay?" ... "Oh good I
thought it'd have turned to alcohol by now..."
Al Pacino takes a gun apart and reassembles it in 30 seconds and she
says in a non-impressed fashion, "I can do that...".
You take her on holiday and she goes on a crusade to kill animals,
steal fruit, insult the locals ...generally do anything except
sunbathing or just sitting around relaxing.
...and ...if there's not another person or dwelling in sight then
there's definitely a man-eating tiger in the bushes just over there
that's probably been following us around (we're travelling by jeep)
the last two days .
Any free time will be spent purchasing snacks ...and occasionally
eating them. Great energy will be put into purchasing snacks, she'll
walk long distances and occasionally run. Care must be taken to
position oneself in a strategic location to be able to spot
approaching snack sellers. When mealtime comes she'll order four main
courses then pick at each for two minutes and then sit back and say
"very full, eaten already".
She doesn't really get to grips with foreign currencies very well but
she knows which coins are good for purchasing snacks. When you're
receiving your change at the 7 Eleven her hand flies in at the speed
of light to pick up the five baht coins to add to he collection...
Amazing amounts of energy and planning are put into maintaining this
collection of five and ten baht coints.
Just before returning your hire car you have to park next to a skip
because her side of the car will be so full of discarded snacks and
wrappings.
...you imagine the newspaper reports... "There was a car crash
involving two tourists today, the Western guy was okay but they had to
cut through the snacks for two hours to rescue the Vietnamese girl."
Myanmar is the place where "all the men wear skirts and they don't
have good snacks...".
They don't want to go anywhere near any ethnic minorities, "because
they eat strange things and they're uncivilized...". You say, "but
you're an ethnic too ...just a majority". She half nods in vague
agreement then relapses into silence and thinks about it for two
days...
While holidaying in Thailand she goes off to the supermarket to buy an
ice cream and you wonder why she's taking a long time. She comes
strolling innocently back with no ice cream and a bag of fireworks,
rockets peeking out of the top.
...and ...she'll have kept a secret supply in her pocket which you'll
find out about when she throws bangers at you while you're having a
shower. (I don't mean suasages)
You're not allowed to buy any fruit that's in season ..."What did you
buy that for? They're really cheap...".
You watch Gandhi (the film) together. Her attitude to the principle of
passive resistance is made clear just one third of the way into the
film ..."bloody idiots! hit them, hit them!, ..." ... "I .
Bill Clinton very good; George Bush very bad...
On a map of the world Japan, Singapore, Thailand and Taiwan are right
smack bang next to Vietnam. France and the UK are way off by the North
Pole, Australia, USA? who cares! And China, despite recent border
conflicts and 2000 years of shared culture, occupies a very indistinct
position somewhere between the afore-mentioned.
You're studying a topographical map which displays icons for wild
boar, crocodiles, monkeys, crabs, shellfish, lizards ...you have to
point out the key three times before she accepts that the icons refer
to the real living creatures as opposed to restaurants.
Any foreign country, with the exception of Cambodia, sounds like an
attractive place to go and live.
You take her to the zoo and she asks the keeper: "how much for one of
those done 7 ways for two people?" (I'm making this one up, it's not
happened ...yet!)
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